My friend and I were recently talking about how she could help me get some projects done, but it was clear that she wanted to be paid for helping me. I wanted to be able to pay her something but when I offered what I could afford, she got offended and stopped speaking to me. I feel hurt, disappointed and betrayed. I wish I could understand what happened, but I don’t get it. Can you help me understand?
The Bigger Message Answer
While it can seem like your friend abandoned you, there are a number of ‘threads’ that indicate a Bigger Message here:
- Your friend was claiming her value; unfortunately, it was from a source that couldn’t validate her value in the way she wanted.
- Your relationship needed to shift levels in some way – you were no longer in an energetically matching frequency. It doesn’t mean either of you are bad; instead, it means one or both of you outgrew the relationship. Creating this scenario, while dramatic, pushed the beginning of your new chapter (which, in this case, is on individual paths).
- You asked for help and didn’t get it, which feels like abandonment and betrayal. The reality of betrayal, whether large or small, is that you likely had all the resources within to handle the situation.
It’s easy to project onto others that they are the issue, that they are supposed to be a certain way, that someone else should be taking care of your requests, wants and needs.
However, when you lean too hard on that other person, have unrealistic expectations about how they’re supposed to show up or feel entitled in some way to that particular relationship producing a particular feeling within you, you’ve given that person your personal power.
Essentially, you’ve given that other person the equivalent responsibility of caring for one of your limbs. When they don’t know how to do it or don’t seem to care about it, your response is to feel betrayed when, in fact, they CAN’T care for your limb! It’s not theirs…!
Betrayal is a sign that your inner strength is requiring greater expression, that your relationship needed to shift and that it’s time to reclaim your personal power.
And that’s the Bigger Message of betrayal.
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