Recently someone who I consider a friend abandoned our relationship. I don’t know why but it’s not the first time this has happened to me. What is going on? Am I just that unlikeable?

Question: Recently someone who I consider a friend abandoned our relationship. I don’t know why but it’s not the first time this has happened to me. What is going on? Am I just that unlikeable?

Answer:

It’s not about your likeability; instead, it’s about how congruent you are with that person – and congruence starts within.

This is a Bigger Message that it’s time to dig deep and consider who you are in relationships.

Something that many don’t realize is that the way they learned as children is often what they bring to their adult relationships. So, if you learned through pain and punishment, you will use that ‘frequency’ to transmit information to others. In a significant relationship, that can be damaging but you don’t know it because it’s so familiar to you. That’s just one example of how unconscious, default programming can affect your current relationships.

Ask yourself:

Who am I when I’m showing up in relationships?

Do I express integrity in my communications and actions?

What am I expecting from others? And am I willing to give it?

Typically there are signs, or cues, from others in relationships that will tell us when to pay attention to something. Take a look to see if you’re listening to what others are saying or assuming you understand, if you’re re-treading the same types of issues in relationships and/or where you tend to override what you know about the other person.

We teach others how to treat us and that includes your ‘other’. They have likely given signals that were in a blindspot for you or were so unfamiliar that you didn’t recognize them for what they were at the time.

By taking the time to evaluate your historical relationships and then to assess your current energetic state to make sure you’re in integrity with your values, your health and your life purpose, you can determine if you’re teaching others what you really meant for them to know about you. And you can further decide if you’ve been misinterpreting their signals in some way.

Relationships serve as our mirrors and can be one of the most powerful ways to grow ourselves. The Bigger Message is that you are accountable for what’s happening in your relationships as they are a reflection of yourself.